


Time And Again

by adiffident



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew has bipolar disorder, Demisexual Neil Josten, F/M, Fix-It, M/M, More Fluff, Neil just adores Andrew, PTSD, Time Travel, Wholesome Twinyards, and that's that on that, ok edgelord, regret is a pointless emotion, their traumas are mentioned, they have way healthier coping mechanisms, they just (love) each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adiffident/pseuds/adiffident
Summary: It was a rather uneventful night in the spring of 2013. Peaceful. Some might say domestic.No.It was a rather eventful night at Eden's in 2004. Hectic. Some might say doomed.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 24
Kudos: 82





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> This is Andrew's senior year of high school and Freshman of college (very much based on Nora's extra content and Son Nefes)

It was a rather uneventful night in the spring of 2013. Peaceful. Some might say domestic. 

No. 

It was a rather eventful night at Eden's in 2004. Hectic. Some might say doomed.

\--

Andrew needs control, frankly as much as his excuse of a body needs air, and he couldn't lose it this time. Time, Time. Memories, Memories. No weaknesses this time. There it is again. No weaknesses means no drugs. Can't have your body addicted. That is not becoming of a future pro athlete. His heart is steadily beating in his chest and with that in mind he uses the knowledge he acquired over the years to knock the assailants out as efficiently as possible.

\--

Ah. Yes. Courtly mandated therapy. There you are old friend. It just won't do, won't it? The hot chocolate is missing, you see? No drugs. No Mania. No fuzzies. No happiness. No Neil.

\---

It was all. A lot, too little, not enough? What to change and what to keep? He didn't believe in regret but this unique position challenged every previous decision he made. Regret was a pointless emotion because you couldn’t change the past but now he could. What a curious turn of events.

Bee prepared him for so much but someone must have forgotten to tell him because this wasn't in their lessons.

But one thing was clear: no weak spots, his body had to keep up with his mind or was it the other way around?

\---

Where before he saw everything through fuzzy mania he now experienced it fully in all its disgusting glory. It was not a great time to be alive as he was bored out of his goddamn mind. Every morning waking up was dragging himself out of bed and knowing everything that will happen, not bothering to change much. But there was not a painful grin spread across his face. There is just a regained blood deep apathy coursing through his veins and chilling him to the core.

But wait. He knew how to deal with this. Bee was a busy bee, you see. And they might not remember, but he does. As helpful as it was painful, this memory of his. He had been through this before, he can do it again.

\---  
Sometimes he wasn't a real person, just drifting with the currents under the sheet of ice that separated him from the living, drifting from day to day. Healing wasn't linear, he knew that. But this situation wasn't doing it for him. He kept on spiraling, spiraling and climbing up, up and down, down. Again and again. 

He was living a quiet life, you see? Well as quiet as it gets considering the menace that is Neil and Kevin and Exy and everyone else but it was okay, just living. It had a steadiness to it. Now he was stuck where he didn't want to be, his perfect double vision obscuring reality.

Andrew is stuck with Neil. He doesn't particularly mind that much. What they have is good, better than anything he'd ever had. It makes waking up every day a bit easier and it beats not having anything. Sometimes it is too much, looking into Neil's face and seeing the wonder and adoration but frankly he missed it, he missed him.

What they had was steady, maybe the steadiest thing among their ever moving lifestyle and it was a close proximity to good. It made the unpleasant buzzing of life more bearable.

\---

The phone is ringing. Oh, this is new.

“Andrew.” Well isn’t this a surprise. That voice, although younger, shouldn't belong to Neil Josten yet.

“Are you a rabbit yet again?” Andrew wanted to laugh his manic laugh but instead his voice was as impassive as ever. That idiot sighed in relief.

“You aren't high.” What a stupid thing to say. Of course not, not ever again. So Andrew didn’t respond.

“I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I had to relearn everything I unlearned over the years and I don’t know what to do about my mother. I know you would say to let it happen and I know you're right but she was everything.” Neil's voice was filled with despair, Andrew just hummed in acknowledgement. If he had his way she would’ve been dead already but apparently the world had already decided that for him.

“I’ll try to talk to you soon.” There was finality in the tone, then a pause and steady breathing, the line went dead. The burner phone would probably be discarded by now. Better safe than sorry.

Ah, so it isn't just him. Fun.

\-- 

He had one thing to say to that complete obsessed fool and his raven keeper: No.

\--

He had one thing to say to that delusional grandpa: Whatever.

So it was settled then.

\---

Now it was also time for Aaron. Bee would be proud of him for just trying.

On a slow day with the pesky Nicky nowhere in sight (He remembers he won't come for a while) he turns to his clone, blank stare in place.

"Talk." he instructs but the other one decides to be dumbfounded into silence. How disappointing. He turns away, other opportunities will come.

On another day he zooms in on Aaron's face.  
"Talk. I'm sure you have something to say." His answer wasn't an explosion but more quiet accusations. Oh Aaron just didn’t understand.

Face as impassive as ever Andrew responds with a dry "Okay." and then continues "I kept my promise then." And that was that. His Junkie still had a lot of mending to do to fix his precious team after all and Andrew will watch it unfold all over again.

\---

The thing about Aaron was that he couldn't fathom the intricacies that made up Andrew. He didn't know what he should have expected from his twin brother but it wasn't a complete betrayal of his trust. Now he already had countless joint therapy sessions behind him and was aware of his brother's journey with his demons, which meant he was the one that knew better but his old stubbornness still gnawed at his heart. Alas, Aaron could have the cheerleader as she hadn't betrayed him in Andrew's previous lifetime. That didn't mean he would make their relationship easy and besides his brother still needed to get more bite and coddling never helped anybody.

\---

Andrew knew it was pettiness that drove him to seemingly ignore his brother but it was understandable.

Being the better person is not something he'd ever imagined being but he wouldn't ruin his character growth (as Bee called it) and let their endless therapy sessions go to waste just because they haven't happened yet.

\---

After graduation Nicky, Aaron and Andrew start their stay at the nurses house. Andrew will have a lot of work to do but first he had to cement the weekly sessions with Bee. She was the first one to diagnose him with manic depression, in the future known as bipolar disorder, and he seriously did not know how most were so stupidly distracted by his demeanor to not see what’s really wrong with him.

Oh what the future held. Renee and her knives. Dan. That drug addict Matt. Neil liked his Matt and his girls but the Matt right now isn't the man he liked. Now he was a covering mess behind Dan.

Some things can't be helped. Well, he at least considered.

And the last piece on the board will be the Queen, who will have to grow a spine a bit faster.

\---

Andrew was prepared to give Exy half a heart. It would be the best the foxes had ever seen up to date. Playing exy was okay, he will be paid to do it after all but for now he didn't actually want to raise unnecessary expectations so soon. He also needed something other occupying his mind. He read through German, Russian and French dictionaries but there are only so many words. Then he picked up all the books about different fighting styles and ways to kill a person. These were somewhat useful. Another thing Andrew would’ve never done before, that he did now, was to read through his coursework and even attend every lecture but what can you do? (Criminal) Justice never sleeps, after all.

\---

When they stepped into the lounge on their first day Andrew successfully sneaked up on Renee. He could feel her tension in his bones, then she would stare at him contemplatively, always watching and thinking.  
Seth, Juan, Dwayne, Damien and Reggie won’t be a problem for him except that those last two coke heads were tempting Matt. So Andrew kept to his people but not before quietly murmuring into Renee's side that if Matt wouldn’t stay sober he’ll take care of it. He did give a heads up, there’s nothing else he could do.

Dan was the first to be tested. Even though he knew she wasn’t a threat it couldn’t hurt. After all she took everything willingly, it wasn't his fault that nobody had a tolerance.  
Matt predictably didn’t even last two weeks and was defeated, rooming with the girls instead. With Randy’s blessing Andrew presented him with speedballs and the weak willed creature cracked with the longing. Then followed the withdrawal and Dan’s rage, such a fiesty creature who never stood a chance against him. It was her tactical error to start the fight but he would hold himself back, for everyone's sake. His patience was already fraying when Renee decided to step in.

After that the oh so sweet Joan of Exy came with them to Columbia. In some ways he didn't restrict his family as much but in others he held a tighter leash, not allowing too much cracker dust and alcohol. Renee was watching everything just the same as Nicky chattered away. Andrew didn’t want him to extract information from her as he already knew it wouldn’t work. Instead he took her to Eden’s and just asked and she told.

Andrew won their first fight and he could tell how surprised she was but he already knew her style by heart and she was rusty from disuse. Then he shared some of his secrets regarding Drake and she didn’t object when Andrew confiscated her knives not soon after. During their biweekly sparring matches he eased up a bit, her theories on Andrew's danger level didn't need to be fed.

When he stepped foot onto the court in october it was a bit of a relief. He didn’t know that he could’ve missed it that much. For a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue he shut down the goal against the Jackdaws after five points. Wymack wanted a miracle, he got one. It made no difference either way and playing without withdrawal was decidedly better than with.

They qualified for spring championship.

As the Christmas banquet in Virginia rolled around he already knew what to expect. The surprise during the ride home predictable. He left the Queen to recover on his father’s couch and when Kevin was waiting for them in the locker rooms, lounge littered with his precious papers, Andrew took one look at him and said "Spare me your annoying babbling. I don't care." and promptly vanished into the hall.

Kevin, Kevin he needed to learn, no point for Andrew in sticking around if he already heard everything once. Assistant coach Kevin was the worst Kevin. Giving into his demands and delusions just wouldn't do, he had to grow a spine first but Andrew will bear it because he had to.

Then Kevin was in a particularly bad mood as the world was clued in to his broken hand and Andrew stepped off the court.

He stepped onto it again during the death match with Penn State and effortlessly shut down the goal in his half (they lost 1:9 as opposed to the previous 0:19). You had to keep everyone on their toes and guessing. This would confuse them to hell and back.

The one constant during this time were Neil’s vaguely worded daily messages, that Andrew didn’t respond to, the score from the foxes’ games he himself always send him and short conversation in mumbled Russian.

After Kevin's night in Columbia their deal was set and a visit to Arizona stood on the agenda.

\--

Time to pick up his Junkie from the airport. What a treat.


	2. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a rather uneventful night in the spring of 2013. Peaceful. Some might say domestic. 
> 
> No. 
> 
> He was in the bumfuck of nowhere with the taste of quiet desperation on his lips, his mother's iron grip to grind him into the dirt and uncomfortably gangly limbs that shouldn't feel so foreign to him.
> 
> OR it's basically lonely missing Andrew hours/years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised this is a fucking nightmare for both of them

It was a rather uneventful night in the spring of 2013. Peaceful. Some might say domestic. 

No. 

He was in the bumfuck of nowhere with the taste of quiet desperation on his lips, his mother's iron grip to grind him into the dirt and uncomfortably gangly limbs that shouldn't feel so foreign to him.

\---

Breathe.

My Name is Abram. It's the truth. I am 16 years old and on the run with my mother. Yesterday I kissed my boyfriend of 7 years good night and now I am here. Shit. No. I haven't kissed anyone in two years.

Breathe.

Oh. Andrew.

Breathe.

My mother isn't dead.  
My father isn't dead.  
Riko isn't dead.

Breathe.

But they will be.

\--

Over the years he had a lot of time on his hands. He knows what he's been through. He knows she is too much of a controlling wild card to keep alive. He knows what Andrew thinks of her, knows she isn't much better or different then Tilda, knows what he has to do to meet his foxes for the first time.

\---

When they were on the road he asked her if all of it was worth it but she just continued to gaze stubbornly out the window. She was fierce and strong, a survivor. But is she right for him? If things were different, maybe, but he only ever got all the beatings, all her wrath and her paranoia.

Mary wasn't larger than life like he remembered, she was just tired and human. Maybe this was the curse and salvation of growing up.

\---

Seattle and his father came and then the frantic drive began. It made him quiet down, not speed up. He watched his mother out of the corner of his eyes and asked "No hospitals?" Neil decided that this was ultimately her choice to make and she was resolute. She was going to die with that resolution cursing through her damned proud british blood.

Some things are bound to happen.

After his mother is dead and buried he buys a cheap burner phone only to talk to Andrew, to check up on him. It's nice, just hearing his voice. It's like long distance all over again and Neil was starving for his company. He forgot how lonely it was.

Love doesn't quite describe how he feels about Andrew. Their this is a steady and grounding force in his life. He likes kissing him, feeling shared touches and just being in his presence. As far as Neil's concerned no outsider has the right to intrude and they don’t see the extent of their relationship anyway. But it's there. In quiet conversation and silences, in shared cigarettes and kisses in their own private bubble, in all the ways there's nothing quite like them and he wouldn't have it any other way.

\---

He already processed her death once and he even had a session with Bee where he told her he was glad his mother was dead, because if she hadn’t died then where would he be? If she’d lived, he never would have ended up in Arizona, never would have come to South Carolina, never would have met the Foxes or fallen in love with Andrew. He would have kept running, kept hiding and lying, kept looking over his shoulder until Nathan was freed from jail and could send his people after him again.

He would have died like he always knew he would–nameless and forgotten in the far corner of the world.

He wouldn’t give that all up for her

\---

Then he started his track for Millport.

There, Neil eats healthier food, runs, exercises, relearns exy all over again and challenges himself with Raven drills when he deems himself alone enough. He dreams about those eight precision drills. Every few weeks he speaks with Andrew and daily he gives him short updates via texts. He knows Andrew welcomes those. If he didn't he would've asked Neil to stop. Besides, they were trained in long distance relationships. It was just a longer distance and a time period of two years. Most nights he is haunted by the now fresh memories of his parents but otherwise his stay is pleasant with its routine and boringness.

His reflection was another fight as his scars weren't there. It’s the kind of problem he never thought he'd need to deal with. All that marked him obviously different was gone and his body didn't quite feel like his own anymore. Instead the mirror showed him more unmarred skin then he was used to and shitty box dyed hair completed with brown eyes. Andrew’s voice whispered runaway in his ears and he couldn’t begrudge the accusation. It’s what he now is again.

He is not the Neil that won against Riko yet, but he'll get there and it will be easier, distant memory, like second nature

Neil sends Andrew a text 'will board soon' and trashes the phone. (he already bought two new ones for later purposes) Chucking the remnants into a bin he's off. Time to see Andrew again. He’s not religious but thank God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did use some direct quotes from the extra content. Can you guess which lines?


	3. insights into their respective mental states

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my thought process going into these characters
> 
> just wanted to get it out there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You definitely don't have to read this because it isn't that important to the story. I'm happy if it is interesting for just one (1) person.

Nora states that Andrew is manic depressive but we just get to see two sides: drug induced mania and apathy (symptoms of depression etc.). The books don't really delve into his mental state (but it is decidedly not psychopathy) and I don't want to assign him the type of bipolar disorder that he has randomly.

[Firstly I need to thank the skam gods for giving bipolar the attention that it deserves (and educating me further in the process).]

At this point Andrew had like six years (from the point Bee diagnosed him) + the additional two years (one of which he very much works hard with Bee to get the right treatment) to manage his symptoms. Even before apparently no one considered that he had bipolar (or at the least depression)?? Which is just ridiculous if you ask me. So he's relatively high functioning. It probably helps that no one suspects he has a mental health issues and instead think he's out there murdering someone but anyways.. Andrew already has the knowledge and the continuing support from Bee to manage it and nobody is the wiser and they just think he's fucking crazy (except his beautiful supportive boyfriend Neil Abram Josten, of course).

In conclusion:

Bipolar II Disorder— defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes that are typical of Bipolar I Disorder.

It’s what Andrew has (since Nora emphasizes the depressive phases and hypomania is mostly not as noticable as mania).

My headcanon:  
Andrew switches between rambling and expressing the thoughts that come to his head to longer episodes where he barely speaks. Neil is fine with either versions of his boyfriend(and both of them are assholes).

Symptoms of hypomania:  
Elevated mood, irritability (short temper, easily frustrated, feel grouchy or grumpy), decrease in the need for sleep, overall increase in energy, unusual behaviors and actions, and a markedly distinctive increase in talkativeness and confidence, a flight of creative ideas, may include feelings of grandiosity, distractibility, and hypersexuality

For Andrew to experience these in the presence of Neil is decidedly safe and he doesn’t care what others think of him.

From the books we get to see Neil as an anxious mess with frequent panic attacks, PTSD, insomnia etc. 

Over the years he has worked through his trauma and some triggers (like cigarette smoke, old men) are replaced with happier memories of Andrew, Wymack and the foxes.

As he is thrust back in time he is overwhelmed, experiences a panic attack and then needs to shut his emotions down when he’s in Mary’s presence. After her death and the run in with his father the traumatic experiences are fresh in his mind but he has a breather in Millport with exy and Andrew to keep him steady.

Now he still has anxiety or can’t really sleep sometimes, but he knows that it will be okay. Besides, he can always calm down with the help of Andrew’s grounding touch while the foxes are to oblivious to notice that he’s panicking. 

Basically, they’re just amazing boyfriends.


	4. CHAPTER ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil to Neil: You’re telling everyone you’re fine, then dry heaving in the bathroom and having a mental breakdown. I’m reuniting with the love of my life. We’re not the same.
> 
> or: the beginning of the foxhole court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Neil are two repressed little shits and instigators at heart

Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. He didn’t want the nicotine; he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother and now also of Andrew. If he inhaled slowly enough, he could almost taste the ghost of gasoline and fire and see endless nights spend on rooftops. It was at once revolting and comforting, leaning more to the latter. The anticipation sent a shiver down his spine and the jolt went all the way to his fingertips, dislodging a clump of ash. It fell to the bleachers between his shoes and was whisked away by the wind.

Soon Coach Hernandez will talk to him. The squealing door signaled his arrival. He knew what to say, the conversation predictable.

Millport still lost the game, the season is over. Of course, Neil held himself a back. It was easier here, on a shitty makeshift court. 

"There's someone here to see you."  
These words ring in his ears. They are a promise of a future. 

With his bag slung over his shoulder he makes his way to Wymack standing in the locker room doorway, tribal flame tattoos and all. Neil schools his face into blankness and looks wary between the two coaches, waiting for them to explain - and they do (with occasional interjections from him). After they're finished he bolts into the locker room, eager to see Andrew for the first time in two years. Remembering the pain for some time after the racket hit his stomach he slowed down but still wasn't prepared because Andrew changed his tactic as well. It ended the same (an exy stick in his abdomen) but also with a muttered "I hate you", which made Neil smile. Not as bad as last time. At least he could breathe. 

Wymack didn't seem to agree. “God damn it, Minyard. This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Oh, Coach,” Neil had missed the sound of that voice in person and not just over their shitty phones . “If he was nice, he wouldn’t be any use to us, would he?"

“He’s no use to us if you break him.”

“You’d rather I let him go? Put a band-aid on him and he’ll be good as new.”

Andrew Minyard. The culmination of three years juvi, coldly rejecting Riko and joining the dead-last foxes; the possessor of 7 years worth of knowledge from a different timeline. Meeting him face to face was as disorienting as it was delightful.

Andrew gazed down at Neil and tapped two fingers to his temple in salute. His eyes were sparkling with the absurdity of the situation “Better luck next time.”

“Fuck you,” Neil offered in return without much heat. Two can play this game “Whose racquet did you steal?”

“Borrow.” Andrew tossed it at him. “Here you go.”

“Neil,” Hernandez said, catching Neil by his arm to help him up. “Jesus, are you all right?” The concern was unfounded, Andrew would never seriously hurt him.

“Andrew’s a bit raw on manners.” explained Wymack, coming around to stand between Neil and Andrew. Andrew ignored the silent warning and stayed rooted to the spot. Wymack seemed annoyed by this display of defiance but looked Neil over without further acknowledgement. “He break anything?”

"No." Neil started to leave. He wasn’t going to make this easy.

“We’re not done.” Wymack said.

“Coach Wymack.” Hernandez started.

Wymack didn’t let him finish. “Give us a second.”

Hernandez looked from Wymack to Neil, then let go. “I’ll be right out back.”

Neil waited for an elaboration.

“If I paid to fly three people out here to see you the least you could do is give me five minutes, don’t you think?” Wymack questioned.

Neil turned to Kevin, who was sitting on top of the entertainment center along the back wall surrounded with papers. He’d watched this entire spectacle and looked at him with all his bastardly arrogance.

It’d been two years since Neil stood in the same room as Kevin, an older version of him anyways. Everything about him was different. Everything was the same, from his dark hair and green eyes to his stupid expression. The only exception was made up of the black number two tattooed onto his left cheekbone. Neil saw that number and wanted to retch.

Of course Kevin didn't recognize him as he had dyed dark hair and brown contacts. Neil’s records said he’d only been playing Exy for a year. He’d been very careful this time to act like a know-nothing. It was easy to pretend, since his body hadn’t picked up a racquet in eight years and his mind couldn't make up for the difference. Of course, he’d had an unavoidable learning curve since he had trained with a single-minded focus, but he’d still fought very fucking hard to not shine to avoid attracting unwanted attention. (Riko)

“What are you doing here?” he questioned a bit daft.

“Why were you leaving?” Kevin asked.

“I asked you first.” Something about seeing Kevin again made him want to be a contrary asshole.

“Coach already answered that question,” Kevin said, a tad impatiently. “We are waiting for you to sign the contract. Stop wasting our time.”

“No,” Neil said, he wanted to antagonize Kevin further “Why don’t you bother the thousand strikers who’d jump at the chance to play with you?”

“We saw their files,” Wymack interjected. “We chose you.”

"The son of exy willingly chose someone from bumfuck nowhere?" Neil asked, words dripped in mock interest.

“We should have thrown away your coach’s letter the second we opened it,” Kevin said. “Your file is deplorable and I don’t want someone with your inexperience on our court. It goes against everything we’re trying to do with the Foxes this year. Fortunately for you, your coach knew better than to send us your statistics. He sent us a tape so we could see you in action instead. You play like you have everything to lose.”

Neil considered him for a moment and scanned his whole demeanor. "Are you growing a spine? Is that what this is? If so I will consider the offer, but know this: It is a bad idea."

Wymack didn't give his son a chance to answer. “Your opinion has been duly noted and dismissed.” He continued. “It actually works in our favor that you’re all the way out here. No one outside of our team and school board even knows we’re here. We don’t want your face all over the news this summer. We’ve got too much to deal with right now and we don’t want to drag you into the mess until you’re safe and settled at campus. There’s a confidentiality clause in your contract, says you can’t tell anyone you’re ours until the season starts in August.”

Neil already knew his answer. he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Well?” Wymack asked.

"I'll think about it."

“We can give you a lift home.”

“No, thank you”

Wymack looked at his Foxes. “Go wait in the car.”

Kevin gathered his files and slid off his perch. Andrew waited for Kevin to catch up and led him out of the locker room. Wymack waited until they were gone, then turned a serious look on Neil.

“You need one of us to talk to your parents?”

“I'll never have to see them again, won't I?” Neil mused.

"Coach Hernandez thinks there is something going on with them. Maybe they're the ones that hurt you. Either way, the locker room’s going to be shut down once the school year ends. You’re not going to be able to come here during the summer. If your parents are a problem for you, we’ll move you to South Carolina early.”

"That's settled the." Neil gave him a wry grin in return.

“You'll be staying on my couch for the time being. We’ll tell everyone you’re there for conditional early practice. Chances are half of them will believe it. You won’t be able to fool the rest, but that doesn’t matter. Foxes are Foxes for a reason and they know we wouldn’t sign you if you didn’t qualify. That doesn’t mean they know specifics. It’s not my place to ask, and I’m sure as hell not going to tell them.”

This, this complete willingness of trust and second chances will not baffle him. All people had their vices, he supposed.

“Your graduation ceremony is May eleventh, according to your coach,” Wymack said at length. “We’ll have someone pick you up from Upstate Regional Airport Friday the twelfth.”

Neil could feel himself buzzing a bit.

“Keep the papers tonight,” Wymack offered, pushing his folder at Neil again. This time Neil took it. “Your coach can fax the signed copies to me on Monday. Welcome to the line.”

This had gone a lot smoother than the previous attempt and this time he won't apologize to his mother for wanting to live. He calmly walked out and searched for Andrew's gaze. They stole a few seconds by the bleachers as they haven't seen each other for so long. Neil traced the shape of Andrew's shoulders, they were broader than they should've been and achingly solid under his fingertips. He wanted to set them in one of those leather coaches they had in one of their apartments and climb into Andrew's lap and not let go of him for a long time. Instead he crushed his body to his and melted into him for mere moments. Then Andrew had a ride to catch. Similarly, Neil started on his way back to his squat.

The unsigned contract in his bag felt like a new start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Neil is just trying to wing it and let his personality shine through (because these are his safe people) and Andrew kinda enjoys quoting himself like the dramatic gay that he is. Also Neil now doesn’t have a complete mental breakdown every time a new piece of information is presented AND guess who managed to not say 'I'm fine'.


	5. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil is being picked up by his extra edgy goth bf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> throwback to the first time Andrew was horny for Neil

The desperation of the run that followed Neil even to airports had been replaced with exy games tinged with sleeplessness and they had long since lost their edge. However, his father and the people that follow him into his nightmares were alive now, but that wouldn’t deter him with paranoia. He already envisioned a future with them dead.

When he landed in Upstate Regional he practically ran to Arrivals, pulled by the important mission of finding his boyfriend. Andrew in turn greeted him with silence but Neil couldn't contain his pure joy in getting to share a ride with him.

As they stepped outside into the muggy summer afternoon the lights at the crosswalk were already green. Neil impatiently held his hands out for the keys and jogged to the GS to put his bag in the trunk. As soon as he sat down in the passenger seat he stuck the keys into the ignition and when Andrew joined him they sped off. Neil hovered his hands over Andrew's thigh and placed it gingerly there after a huffed yes. They didn’t need to speak. After all they just talked yesterday over the phone and Neil sent his last message some hours ago. He could just breathe easier with him in the vicinity and melted into his seat, all tension gone out of his body.

They had about twenty minutes time to get to Wymack's apartment complex and with his impatient arrival some minutes to spare. At redlights Neil leant over and kissed Andrew. Over the years their yes or no became a consistent yes until it was interjected by a definite no and kissing at stops was already part of their long distance routine. Neil counted himself lucky that he will have the next four years in Andrew’s reach. His lips felt like home, everything about him really. Andrew kissed him like he was fighting the whole world for him and him at the same time, like he would stop at nothing to raze it into the ground.

After stepping out of the car and getting his bag Kevin, Nicky and the twins in identical outfits were already lined up. His gaze snagged to Aaron. Apparently Andrew must have roped them into similar lifting regimen because he was just as broad. They were standing side by side. That’s good.

Promptly Nicky began his endless chattering and introductions, to which Neil just went along. The route up the seventh floor to apartment 724 felt like his worn out team sweaters and the threshold didn't present an obstacle. This was also home. Neil could feel that the cousins were bored by his decidedly normal reactions or indifferent behaviour towards Nicky stealing painkillers and other robbery schemes. They will get acquainted with his temper soon enough, no need to rush.

After Andrew and Kevin reemerged with a bottle of Whisky (to which Neil just raised his eyebrow at his boyfriend), the door rattled and Wymack’s gruff voice was complaining about their entering and asking about Nicky’s chauffeur skills. Neil wouldn't break the ruse, that definitely wasn't his place. After all, it had even benefited him. 

Coach threw him the keys and Neil begrudgingly left his duffel on the couch. He will ask later to have it safely stored away but it was highly unlikely that someone would steal such a ratty thing and he really wanted to see the court again. Andrew waited by him while the others already made their way toward the elevator. Apparently the distance had also weighed on him, which made Neil smile smugly. That elicited a huff, a snagged belt and a none so gentle dragging along.

During the ride down they just stared each other down. Neil missed that face, he supposed Andrew was beautiful and had a somewhat healthy glow about him. If he thought too much about the medication and the mania Neil always felt sick so the current state of his boyfriend was a relief. The staring seemed to make Nicky rather nervous and he resumed to spill unimportant information that Neil only half listened to. After all, they had a court to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicky, chuckling nervously: what the fuck? Is someone going to get killed?  
> Andrew, gazing lovingly at Neil: Yes.
> 
> I get that this chapter might seem anticlimactic but they are just that kind of couple, you know?
> 
> They communicate through their facial expressions and no one knows what to do with that. (No one can even read Andrew's face that well)


	6. CHAPTER THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil reuniting with the love of his life, the Foxhole Court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that writing isn't my preferred method of procrastinating during holidays I procrastinated writing. Also insomnia and overthinking of this fic didn't let me sleep. You're welcome

As the orange monstrosity of the Foxhole Court stretched in front of Neil, he thought he might never get sick of that sight. He barely registered the words being spoken while he stood in front of the fence, instead twisting his fingers through the metal links and reminiscing. It was such a long time ago that he was at a proper exy court and the anticipation was trying to crawl out of his body. Still, somewhat patiently he waited for Nicky to explain everything.

“When was your birthday?” Oh. Sometimes Neil dismissed what a smooth talker Nicky is, seemingly bouncing from unrelated topic to unrelated topic. This was one of those times.

Caught slightly of guard he answered “Some month ago”, which technically wasn’t a lie. Neil could hear Andrew’s quiet scoff beside him. 

"Oh, we missed it. But we recruited you in April, so that should count as the world's greatest present. What'd your girlfriend get you?"  
Neil looked at him. "What?"  
"Come on, cute face like yours has to have a girlfriend. Unless you swing my way, of course, in which case please tell me now and save me the trouble of having to figure it out."

Neil stared at Nicky, wondering why he’s so interested in his sexuality that he even used his sleek interrogation techniques. It was quite ridiculous for him to waste so much energy on getting to know one person and Neil must have misplaced the memory of ever having this conversation, probably too unimportant to fill space in his head. However, this really grated on his nerves and needed to be shut down. Even Andrew’s body beside him tensed a bit.

"How is that important? We are standing right in front of the stadium and we can play." Neil gritted out.

“I’m just curious,” Nicky gave him a sly grin.

“He means nosey,” Aaron said.

Neil rolled his eyes at Nicky's antics. "Nicky, I don’t swing your way. I am not really interested in relationships." 

He couldn’t well say that he didn’t swing at all as he ‘swung for Andrew’, but ‘not interested’ summed it up well enough. After spending enough time analyzing his own desires and scourging through the depth of the internet Neil had come across a useful label called demisexuality, which fit very nicely. If he hadn't met Andrew he most certainly would have never had sex with another person and even with Andrew it was more about their shared understanding and mutual trust. 

By turning expectantly to Kevin Neil signalled he was done with this conversation and Kevin in turn was already in the process of pulling the door open and squeezing out a decisive "Go."

Neil didn't need to be told twice, but he held back on his speed as he was mindful of appropriate pauses and questioning glances. Everything was familiar and at the same time so strange, a walk through his past, the walls of the lounge more empty then he was accustomed to. They would be filled up again with pictures, he supposed with a great deal of relief.

Nicky noticed his distraction and tapped the faces in the closest photograph. “Dan, Renee, and Allison. Dan’s good people, but she’ll work you to the bone. Allison’s a catty bitch you should avoid at all costs. Renee’s a sweetheart. Be nice to her.”

Neil just nodded because he already knew how Nicky felt about virtually everyone. Then he let the rest of the tour wash over him, following Kevin’s insistent words.

"Lights," Aaron called from somewhere behind them.

As the illuminated inner court stood before him, Neil felt a little helpless, a little bit like his last day as captain. Only now it was the first - the beginning and not the end. He’ll gladly do it all again.

He’ll have the next three and a half weeks of practices with Kevin and Andrew's lot before the rest of the foxes arrived and he’ll definitely make them count.

After awkwardly changing into his gear in one of the bathroom stalls (he wasn’t ready for Nickys face to fall like that) he made his way toward court, with Andrew and Kevin staying behind, but always watching.

Neil was nowhere near finished releasing his pent up energy after an hour and a half with drills (that he knew like he knew knives) and a short scrimmage with Nicky and Aaron. Since they were giving up their summer break for him and he couldn’t begrudge them for not being as exy obsessed as he himself Neil settled with a quiet “Thank you.” sent their way.

“It was fun,” Neil said. “You two are the best I played with so far.” (technically true)

Nicky beamed, but Aaron snorted. “Kevin would kill himself if he heard that.”

“Kevin thinks we’re a waste of oxygen,” Nicky shrugged.

“At least you’re not going to completely drag us down,” Aaron said. “I can see why Kevin picked you, maybe you’ll meet his standards in a few months.”

“Speaking of,” Nicky tipped his head toward the wall. “Someone’s ready to get his hands on you.”

Neil followed the gesture and looked through the wall toward the Foxes’ benches. Andrew and Kevin were already glaring at him.

Kevin’s expression was indecipherable, like he couldn’t really reconcile Neil with his playing style. “This is going to be a very long season.”

Now that was just far from the truth. Neil was already way better now, maybe twice as much as before. Of course, he had steadily worked himself with his own drills and ran himself a bit ragged in Millport. Even though he hadn’t played with anyone close to their skill set in a while (and Nicky and Aaron were far from the best) that rustiness could easily be fixed with a few scrimmages and night practices.

Kevin got right in his face and tangled his fingers through the netting on his racquet. Neil didn't mind his dramatics and when he started to pull it away, Neil held on tighter, refusing to give him an inch. They were locked in their own bubble of stick ball obsession as Andrew would call it and Neil could feel his indifference, which bordered closely on annoyance.

“Play with me, or play for me,” Kevin said. “Either way, you have to give your game to me.”

"You can have it." Neil shot him an icy grin, remembering the oh so good times they’ve shared in the past. "We'll just have to play then and not stand on the sidelines." Something in him itched to bully Kevin into growing a backbone.

The somewhat pleased look on Kevin’s face turned into a frown. Nevertheless he dropped his hand from Neils racket and send Andrew a pointed look. “Neil understands.”

The blond was not impressed. "Well, you can play with and annoy him under my careful supervision,” he drawled “Maybe you'll become best friends and exchange friendship bracelets woven from discarded Exy rackets." 

Other than staring a hole into Neil's head he didn't acknowledge him further, but he felt giddy with their proximity and Andrew’s dry sense of humour.

Kevin, who still had that painfully confused expression on his face (now mixed with bafflement sent Andrew’s way), handed Neil his racquet back and the three went to the locker room. Aaron and Nicky were already in the showers when they arrived. Neil heard water running and as he was slowly gathered his clothes Kevin turned annoyed to him.

“Hurry up. We’re not taking you by Abby’s like that,” he said. “Wash up.”

Still taking his time Neil heard Andrew talking to Kevin “He has to hide his ouches, Kevin. How mysterious. I wonder how he got them. Daddy dearest or was it Mommy?” Neil swerved around and narrowed his eyes at Andrew. He didn't know what he wanted to achieve with this. Is he mocking him? Neil wasn't ashamed of his scar, neither was Andrew. It's just always the reaction of others that he wanted to avoid. If Kevin saw his scars he will surely piece the puzzle together on his own. Maybe it would be better and more satisfying that way and the slow realisation wouldn’t force Kevin into a shock.

“I don’t care,” Kevin said to Andrew, and then turning to Neil. "You can't be shy if you're a star."

Andrew added to Neil's direction "Showers are communal." Ah, so he just wanted to stir something up and get Kevin's brain working. Neil can get behind that.

Then the blond scooped up his whisky and started for the door. “Kevin, car.”

Neil headed for the showers, not deigning them with a response. 

Squished in the backseat between Aaron and Nicky on the way to Abby’s he got the latter talking about Erik, which luckily made him shut up with the flirting. 

The dinner was also a pleasant affair. He had missed Nicky’s bubbly chattering, Wymack’s gruff voice, Abby’s warmth and even Kevin and Aaron’s assholenish. Andrew’s and Neil’s silent staring contest still seemed to make everyone nervous, but to Neil it was just a conformation that they’d see each other on his run later.

With the whole ‘monsters and boundaries talk’ (and his assurance that he can handle Andrew and that no boundaries were crossed) during the ride home Wymack relaxed partially. That he still hadn’t caught up to their ‘special relationship’ was beyond Neil, even if unsurprising since they officially ‘knew each other’ for a day.

As soon as Neil reached the couch he checked his bag for its contents and secured that one cabinet as storage and then made his way out.

Andrew caught up with him in the GS somewhere along his running route and Neil settled into their usual calm and some stolen kisses; which his boyfriend barely tolerated because he was “sweaty and disgusting” (partly true, it wasn't that long of a run). Somehow Neil even missed these insults and would've been ecstatic if he weren't so sleepily content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Nicky, I really do, but the shit that he says in chapter 3 makes me really uncomfortable.(I cut most of it away) Neil knows why Nicky acts the way he does and because of that he's just nudging him into the right direction.
> 
> No but imagine an obnoxious straight white dude coming onto a lesbian that hard. Really, if anybody started talking to me like that I think I would get a panic attack.

**Author's Note:**

> Time And Again is a song from Left Boy/Ferdinand that very much does not fit with the vibes but the title is right.


End file.
